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tamaki suoh ⬤ ouran high school host club
residential district ⬤ level 2
moonblessing ⬤ cordis

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[rediscovering]

But— I don't want to date him! I mean, I don't think I do. I just—

[ Want to kiss his face all over :| that's all. He grumbles, turning away, and flicks a flame on in the lighter he's been fidgeting with in his hand, glaring into it. ]

...I'm just confused. I don't want to confess feelings I don't even know if I understand myself, yet. "Princely charisma" doesn't come naturally to me, Tamaki — and in any case, that isn't Gokudera's style, I don't think. He's a poor kid from the streets of Sicily, he doesn't care about that pomp. And it's not just about if my heart can handle the darker side of love. What about his...? What if he feels like he lost a friend? He's— ...He's a lot like me. We don't have a lot of friends. That's part of why our friendship is so special! I don't want to ruin it just because I'm— [ thirsty horny ] lonely or whatever, y'know? Just for a kiss.

[ He wasn't envisioning becoming so emotional or personal about this... He wanted sterile advice; how could he imagine such a conversation as sterile, though? Now that he's in it, his heart is heavy. And wait, wait, wait, what's this about a kiss, now?! ]

[vanity]

❰ this is definitely becoming way more emotionally tense, which doesn't take tamaki aback so much as it opens his eyes to how passionate zuko can really be. all this to say, this definitely doesn't feel like 'just a kiss' energy. ❱

I think you should understand that your concern for this only speaks to how deeply you truly feel in this situation, but I don't know if it's all warranted.

You know him more than me — don't ask whether or not Gokudera may or may not accept you, but do you think Gokudera would be thinking about this with as much trepidation as you are?

[rediscovering]

...No. He probably isn't.

[ He says it with some bitterness, flicking the flame off as he releases his thumb from the lighter with a heated glance to the side. After a beat, he looks back to Tamaki with a new intensity. ]

Is it normal for friends to teach friends how to kiss?

[vanity]

❰ if gokudera isn't so trepidatious, that's a good thing as far as tamaki is concerned. but maybe zuko is assuming that he's not thinking about it at all. sad really, but tamaki focuses his attention on the new question posed. ❱

I don't think it's so...abnormal? ❰ that has certainly never been how he, or anyone he knows, frankly, has done things, but he's well aware of romance tropes to know that that's a common one. the image is a little weird to him in practice, though. ❱ But from what I know of how this narrative thread goes, there's usually a hidden romantic agenda underneath it all.

[rediscovering]

Really?

[ He says it with more excitement than he intended, and immediately makes a face like he recants it... ]

Have, uh— H-Have you done that?

[ You, in all your myriad experience, as Zuko understands it... ]

[vanity]

Of course not.

❰ perhaps that's a little too blunt and rushed, but the thought is way too odd. what are his options — the twins? please. honestly, any host would be a very big No, considering most of them are male. haruhi? while perhaps it is normal to want to kiss a daughter so cute (it is not, it is not normal), that is completely out of the question. ❱ And anyway, I am the sort of gentleman who wouldn't kiss and tell.

But just because it has not been something I've taken part in, doesn't mean that it isn't a valid prompt to encourage romance to bloom!

[rediscovering]

...What if he likes someone else, too.

[ He says this more quietly, more flatly, gaze tossed aside awkwardly. ]

A friend of ours... Of his. From home. Who's here. ...And they live together.

[ Oh, Zuko. This just grew a lot more pitiful. This is not normal, either. ]

[vanity]

❰ fear not, for tamaki takes pity on those so hopelessly lost at sea. ❱

Do you have more reason to believe that his heart lies elsewhere, other than he has a roommate he knows? By that logic, my living with the twins would be suspect.

[rediscovering]

...No. He likes him. He told me. Not in so many words, but— ...Yeah.

[ Yeah... ]

[vanity]

❰ oh my god...way to bury the lede, zuko. time to back up all the way to the beginning here. tamaki gives zuko a very serious face, though it comes with a healthy dose of concern. ❱

Zuko. Do you truly find it worth it, then, to pine over someone who you know likes someone else? And who may not be able to forget them and like you in return? ❰ it's a very genuine question. ❱ Is this the path your and your heart are destined to take?

[rediscovering]

But can't people like more than one person at once — like you!

[ ???¿ ]

[vanity]

❰ tamaki blinks before he tilts his head to the side, full on golden retriever-mode. after a moment he uses his free hand to tap the side of his head. ❱

I think I may have gotten a bit of tea in my ear somehow. I thought this conversation was about romantic love, but I think I've heard wrong.

❰ with a wide, assuring smile, ❱ I have quite a many friends, but when it comes to love — I don't think there's room in a heart for more than one person. So you must be talking about friendship, after all!

[rediscovering]

Both. There are blurry lines sometimes. Right?

[ Right? Right? ]

[vanity]

Not that I've ever experienced. Friends are friends, family is family, lovers are lovers.

❰ yeah, okay tamaki... he's not trying to rain on zuko's parade at all, he just has never conceptualized the deal of non-traditional relationships. ❱

[rediscovering]

Wait— What about all that other stuff with you, then?

[ ¿???! ]

[vanity]

What other stuff?

❰ he's visibly confused, looking at zuko before the glass in his hand like it might be filled with the point his friend is trying to make. ❱

The teas? I wouldn't say I even like these.

[rediscovering]

...No, the sex. And stuff. The other people.

[ Oh, you know, that stuff. ]

[vanity]

❰ oh no, that tea is still in his ear. he shakes his head, taps the one side again, then the other. sets the glass down, sticks fingers in both ears.

and with a disbelieving and shaky hand, he points at himself, in question. ❱

Me?

[rediscovering]

Yeah? You. That's why I came to you.

[ Zuko points at him, too, subtly mocking him without realizing that's exactly what he's doing. Uh? Obviously you? ]

[vanity]

❰ huh. huh. interesting.

no. not interesting. horrific. but very, very hard to process. he is a man (well, teenage boy) of honor, and to think that he is known as...a floozy!? an easy marauder of hearts and beds...!

how many people think this of him? where has this information come from? is this the image that he portrays to the public in this twisted world? but wait...is this the image he portrays to people back home? has no one thought to tell him that he comes off as a trollop?

all of these thoughts are vocalized by a very high pitched sound, like tea coming out of a more-than-ready kettle. ❱

has no one thought to tell him that he comes off as a trollop? guriwhsjk

[rediscovering]

[ Zuko just... waits... for Tamaki to compose himself, glancing highly uncomfortably from side-to-side after a few seconds. Uh-oh. Something feels off. He can't put his finger on it, but this isn't right. ]

[vanity]

❰ it's a good 30 seconds of steam noises before tamaki finally, mechanically, looks at his hands, and it's as if his line of sight triggers them to start moving like crazy.

then his face shoots upwards, looking at zuko with hyper-focused eyes. ❱

Where in the world would you get this ridiculous idea? It's a fallacy...a complete fabrication!

[rediscovering]

What are you saying? Hikaru and Kaoru said you're the expert on this stuff!

[ He can gesticulate, too, Tamaki... ]

[vanity]

I am an expert host! An expert on the image of others, and how to connect them with true love!

❰ more gesticulating as he flails his forearms up and down wildly, trying to convince zuko that this is simply a misunderstanding! a very vulgar misunderstanding! ❱

I'm an expert on nothing else, I swear to you! ❰ oops, accidental self-own. ❱

[rediscovering]

Based on experience! That's what I'm asking you for! Your expert experience! I've only ever loved one person, and it was a girl I've known since childhood — I don't know how to love a boy, especially if he loves someone else! But obviously it's possible! How do you do it?!

[ Oh no oh no oh no ]